How should I go about introducing these cats to one another? Please help?

Let me begin by saying that I consider myself a very experienced cat owner and as such I am fully aware of the gravity of this situation. It's painful for both of my (adult) cats whom I love and treasure dearly and I have got to figure out a way to help them be comfortable.I have had Snow for one year. She's two now. We adopted her from an animal shelter but were given no information whatsoever about how or where she was found so I am not sure if she had previous socialization with other cats. Snow is completely deaf. As such she is very skittish. The only animal she had been around before this incident was our old roommate's dog. She was terrified of the dog initially but after some months she became more comfortable. She would hide when the dog came into the room and would swat at her nose if she came too close, but otherwise largely ignored her.A little over a month ago we were taking Snow on one of her routine walks in her harness when suddenly, for reasons unknown to me, she bolted and jerked herself out of the harness in the process. She was gone for one month and eight days. We were absolutely devastated. However we searched for her relentlessly day and night until finally, five days ago, someone found her and returned her to us. It was absolutely surreal. She was scratched up pretty badly from being attacked by other cats in the area but otherwise was perfectly healthy.The third night we were out looking for Snow, we happened upon an extremely pregnant stray cat. It was so cold out that night that the ground was frozen solid and I could not bear to leave her out in the cold when I had plenty of cat food, toys, and a warm bed at home, so we took her in and named her June. The very next day she gave birth to five kittens. The vet estimated that June was probably not more than a year old and it was most likely her first time with a litter. I believe June was a pet who was thrown out when she got pregnant because she is very tame and sweet. However she also struggles with anxiety problems. When the kittens were five days old, June suddenly started hyperventilating, so of course we took her to the emergency vet. It turned out she was only having an anxiety attack. She has not had one of these since but I frequently notice her breathing heavily from anxiety now that Snow is home.We live in a one-bedroom apartment where our bedroom is really the only place you can totally section off, so June has been raising the kittens in our bedroom but had the run of the house before we brought Snow home. Snow lived almost exclusively in our bedroom (she is very shy around our roommates because of her deafness) and I know she considers it her's. It does not help that the kittens' scent is all over her toys and many of her other possessions, although I kept a few items like her bed, bowls, and scratching post locked up in a closet.So, to summarize: I have had to introduce a cat to a very protective and new mother. June is absolutely distraught. She is young so the kittens stress her out (she had the anxiety attack when all of them were crying), she hates being locked into a tiny room with them, and she feels extremely threatened by Snow's presence. Every time we have to go into the bedroom, I have to shut Snow into the bathroom in case June runs out between my legs. She is at the door waiting to bolt out every time she hears us coming. Snow is terrified of June. She won't even go near to our bedroom door and I know she feels resentful of her as well. The one time I tried to introduce them, I had my husband hold Snow as I walked slowly out of the bedroom with June in my arms. June immediately started to yowl and spit; Snow just burrowed into my husband's arms and shook with terror. When I locked June into the bedroom again, Snow would have nothing to do with me for hours because she saw me holding and petting her. I know she feels replaced and that pains me. She is also very stressed by being forced to live in the front of the apartment because she's around our roommates and their (loud) friends constantly. The first day we brought Snow home, when I walked into the bedroom to get some food for her, June ran out and attacked her viciously, so we began on the complete wrong foot.Does anyone know what I can do? Please advise. I want to try slow introductions but I'm so afraid June is going to get away from me and try to attack my poor little Snow.

I wish I could help you out more. The only experience I have is when I had a 2 year old adult cat that I had from birth and brought home a kitten. At first I thought I would separate them but decided it wasn't going to allow them to ever be close to one another. I started holding the kitten and approaching the adult cat and letting them sniff and hiss at each other. I took a dryer sheet and rubbed both cats down with it. I read that them smelling the same may help a little. But eventually, I just had to let them fight it out. This is such a dilemma for you though, since one is a fresh new mommy and the other is deaf and terrified after being lost from home. I wish you luck. I hope it works out for you, because it sounds like those cats have really the best home and owners they could ask for.

You are in a very prickly situation, and I really don’t have any advice to give you. For both cats, this is a bad time for introductions. First of all, for a deaf cat, introductions would need to be slow anyway. Add that to whatever may have happened while Snow was outside for so long, and there is probably some serious anxiety going on. June may not have any problem with other cats, but with a litter of kitten to care for, she is going to be on constant guard, and any other cat may be seen as a threat.The really unfortunate thing is that having June and her kittens in your bedroom is bad thing. To an animal, the human’s bed is about the best spot in the home. It smells like their people and is a place identified for comfort and affection, so to have another animal suddenly take possession of it can cause some power issues between them. It’s not your fault, of course, you only have so much room, but you should be aware that this is probably adding to the problem.All I can suggest is to slow it down and avoid further attempts at introduction until the kittens are weaned. Once that happens, try switching which rooms the cats are in, Snow gets the bedroom for an hour or so, while June gets free roam, and gradually increase the amount of time. For future introductions, do NOT hold June. Hold Snow and allow June to roam around the apartment. This will help to assure Snow if her place in the household, while showing June that she is not the “top cat”. Another option is to do crated introductions. Put June in a carrier and set her in your living room for Snow to investigate. This may benefit both of them. Whatever you do, just be patient.I went through similar when we brought a 14 week old kitten home last fall. I knew that my 3 year old cat was a dominant personality, so was happy to find a very laid back kitten to bring into the household. It turned out that the kitten was actually a very dominant personality type as well. When I tried to give them a glimpse of each other through the door on the kitten’s second day with us, kitten became extremely aggressive, hissing and growling and swatting at the [much] larger cat. This set the tone for the next two months. Yes, two months. That’s how long it was before we could safely allow the two cats to be in the same room without any barriers between them. We live in a small apartment, so you can imagine how difficult it was. We were actually ready to give up and take the kitten back to the shelter. All of a sudden, it seemed, they were willing to tolerate each other. They are still not friends, and the kitten is still trying to claim dominance, but I no longer fear for either’s safety, and most of the time our household is peaceful.

You do NOT just throw them in a room together and let them fight it out!!! You need to introduce them gradually. If you can, let them get acquainted first with each other's scents while they are confined to separate rooms. You can do this by swapping items with their scents between them, like bedding and such. When you DO get them together, do it first across a barrier where they can see, hear, and smell each other, but NOT fight! We used a baby gate when introducing our new 18 month old Ocicat to our 3 year old Oci. As they get more comfortable being near, you can let them have SUPERVISED time together. It took about a month of this before we were comfortable enough to leave them home alone together. Today they both sleep with us and play together all the time, chasing each other all over the house. See the attached link.