How can I get over the death of cat who died painfully and alone?

This made me teary eyed. I didn't go through the exact thing but similar. My cat, Beebs, who was 19 and I had had him since I was 4, was having problems with his leg. In fact he had had problems for a long time, but vets always thought it was arthritis. After about 10 years of treating him for arthritis, I went to a few different vets and one found out that my cat had bone cancer and that it was too late. The only option was to amputate. Now, my cat was 19 and very slow moving. I couldn't do this to him. We had to put him to sleep. He wanted to die before I made this decision as he stopped wanting to eat and started hiding from me, which he had NEVER done in his life.I was there with him and it was extremly hard because the vet and assistant were not... understanding at all and were hasty about it. My cat was upset because they put pressure on his painful leg when they were bending over to shave him and insert the needle of death. He was growling when he died and I was heartbroken. He had never growled in his life so hearing him do this when he died was terrible. I've never gone to that vet again.It's been 2 years and I still cry for him. He was my 1 cat love and there will never be another like him. I tried replacing him and also had 3 other cats at the time when he died. I still have those cats but they aren't like him. They also missed him a lot.To try to fill the void, I fostered 4 kittens from a local shelter for about 2 months. This just hurt more because no matter how hard I looked I couldn't find a cat like Beebs.So my recommendation is, let yourself be sad. You cannot help but feel guilt and that you did something wrong, but what's done is done and you cant let yourself feel that way forever. You have to remember the good times and the love and keep it close in your thoughts. As I said, Its been 2 years and I still cry often and miss my comfort kitty. Your kitty just died today so give yourself time. Its taking me years.For some people, replacements work, but if you were close to your cat, this wont.Let yourself feel it now, find a friend that will let you talk about it, and eventually you will start to feel better. But you CANNOT feel guilty forever. This wasn't your fault.

Buy another cat

Just remember that you're totally, utterly and completely normal to be so upset when a pet you love dies. Maybe if you had taken her to the vet's sooner he would have suggested euthanasing her to put her out of her pain - but then you would still feel guilty because of having to make that decision. She was probably too old and too ill to be 'cured'. You will always feel guilt because you have a sense of responsibility to your cat like for a child. But the reason for the guilt is the massive amount of love that you have for her - which is such a positive thing. What you need to do is concentrate on the fact that she was a very lucky cat to have had such a loving owner and she obviously had a great life with you - and that's something to celebrate. Don't try to replace her - all cats are different and you will never come across the same personality. Wait until you feel better about her death - time is a great healer and you will eventually be able to look back at the time you had with her and have fantastic memories - I know, I speak from experience. You will know when the time is right to get another cat.

I know just how you feel...I had a dog for 13 years and he was loved by every one he was a inside dog...If he didnt know you...you were not getting in the gate..He loved cats and kittens he would let them play all over him....he liked women but not men...He was the most obedient dog on earth...never any problems...Then one day he got this cough...I thought it was a cold so i let it go...then a month later it was real bad and continous so i took him to the vet and he had Kennel Cough...dont know how but he had to be put down..vet said thousands of dollars to prolong...never be the same need meds the rest of his life...so I did it.....almost killed me though...My only regret was I didnt have him cremated and keep the ashes...The vet does that for you...a little URN and everything...That was 4 years ago and I still cry for him...No another pet would not fix everything.....it makes it worst.

i was 17 when my family dog died also aged 17. she had a stroke downstairs in the kitchen during the night while the family slept upstairs. i woke to my mum telling me to say goodbye, i went downstairs to see her in such a state it was unbearable. we took her to the vet and she went to sleep in my arms looking right at me. i was so heart broken that i didnt go home for 4 days and when i did i scrubbed my stairs that had dog hair on them so hard that i was pouring with blood in the end hysterical. my mum and dad and sister also found it very tough so we decided to get another dog to see if this helped. it didnt - we resented the new dog because it wasnt our baby. we gave the dog to a good home and thn got a cat to see if this could fill place. i got izzy nearly a year after suzi died and love her very much, she is now over a year and has just had 5 kittens. I will never forget suzi nor will i ever replace her but izzy keeps me company when i feel down like suzi did. i still cant go into the vets where we had suzi put to sleep. you will probably be better of getting a dog as anothjer cat will remind you to much of the cat you had. I am very sorry for your loss.Louise

I'm sorry for your loss, you obviously loved your cat very much. Our pets do play similar roles in our lives to that of small children, so it's natural that we feel responsible for everything that happens to them. As humans we believe in cause and effect, that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes there are things that we could not have prevented. Try also to remember that it's a natural survival instinct for animals to hide signs of illness and cats are especially good at this. I remember all too well the almost physical pain when my cat died, and I wish I had some wise words to take away the hurt. I know it will just sound like empty words right now, but the old cliche about time being the great healer is true. Your loss is so very recent, that you need to allow yourself time to mourn, just as you would for any other member of your family. If you have someone you can talk to about her, or a shoulder to cry on, really does help. You are not alone in feeling in some way to blame for the death of your cat. I say this because I felt that way too, when my beloved 19 year old cat died because of poor treatment by a vet. Someone else recently posted the question "Did your beloved pet die because of your neglect?" Reading the responses to that question, may help you at this time. (My own story is posted there - too long to copy & paste here)http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AogoL6xJ84nhO4oqY9DQ1oYhBgx.?qid=20070516072922AACVN8S&show=7#profile-info-AA10257446I felt so guilty about my cat's death, that for two years, I couldn't forgive myself. Then one day I came across an article called "Breaking the Power of Guilt" written especially for pet owners. Reading it helped me come to terms with my feelings and from that day on, my memories of my cat were happy ones and not sad ones of her final day. I've posted the link to this article and hope that it brings you the same comfort that it did for myself.http://rainbowsbridge.com/stories/Lynn-BreakingThePowerofGuilt-632963483160948750.aspxTake care.

I'm sorry. I know how you feel that has happened to me once. It's hard to let go of a pet you had for so long. Just think of the positives. At least the cat is out of pain.

I'm sory for your loss. I'm surprised the vet told you she had been in great pain. But they were probabaly trying to make sure you knew better for next time. So you would get any other pet you may get seen by a vet as soon as possible, if you had any concerns. You can't undo the past, you can just make the future better. It's a shame animals can't talk. They try to hide their pain, as it's a sign of weakness that could get them killed in the wild. Do not beat yourself up about it, just know better for next time. Some cats deliberately go off & die alone- they asume they will get better & just try to sit things out alone. They do not fear death, don't know what it is. So do not think she feared dying. Death is something difficult to explain. When you try to explain it to a young child, it's very difficult. No one could have told her what death is, so don't worry.If she was going to have a heart attack anywhere. Being already at the vets was surely the best place for her. Vets are suposed to love animals & should have comforted her if she was conscious, so don't feel bad. To her you were family & there in spirit.I personally will not get another cat for a while. It may take my mind off the huge gap I feel, not seeing my cat who was my baby to me. But even I can't fool myself. He is gone & I just have to treasure the happy times we had. And pray heaven exists, so we can meet again there.If you do decide to get another pet maybe getting one from a rescue centre/animal shelter would help make you feel better. Knowing you may be saving a healthy animal from being put to sleep.

I'm in tears as I answer this because your question has brought up sad memories for me. My elderly cat, too, died unpleasantly and I was holding her paw while the vet "put her to sleep" and her response to the drugs was horrible, even the vet looked distressed. I miss her terribly, and so does my husband. And she died over two years ago!! Try going herehttp://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htmI dream about her, and half the time when I see my landlord's cat (who is like my cat was in size and personality) I almost call her by my cat's name. We have two other cats who we cherish. Please don't beat yourself up thinking you could have saved her. As you say she was very elderly, and if she died from the stress of a blood test she was ready to go. As for having been in pain for a while, please seek out grief counselling. You will always miss her but you can work on the guilty feelings. I'm sorry if this is not helpful, but I had to respond and connect with you because your question is so close to my heart.

To get through this you need to share with other people who can understand (as you already have). Go to http://www.petloss.comIt is a community, with a chatroom and messageboard of people who are going through or have gone through what you are going through now. It is great to talk it through with them, it was my lifeline when my dog died 3 years ago