How can I get over the death of cat who died painfully and alone?

My very elderly cat died today, and im having a hard time getting over it. Whats makes me upset the most is that she died at the vets (from a heart attack becuase of the stress of a blood test) and i wasnt there. She died on a cold, hard wooden table with a stranger and not in her owner's loving arms. It couldnt of been peaceful. What annoys me also is that i didnt take her to the vets when she first started to show syptoms of concern. Maybe if I had been more prompt, she would still be here? The vet said that in the weeks/days leading up to her death she had been in a great deal of pain, and that just makes me even more upset. She died in pain. I dont know how to get over her death, im hysterical. How do I get used to not having her in my daily life? She a family cat so ive known her since I was born. I was thinking of getting another cat or perhaps a dog to fill the gap. I feel very guilty and frustrated about how she died. Please advise me on what to do and how to get through this

Get another cat that looks like her.

well....this may sound mean but you just have to get over it!!!!! Buying a new cat could help...but in the end you just have to move on!!!

your gonna make me cry. it is so hard losing a pet you have had for so long...they are family. Another pet can help, but won't replace her. you'll have to make new fond memories.

It sounds like you did the best you could do. Try to focus on the positive. She obviously brought a lot of love & light into your life. She wouldn't want you to be miserable or feel guily. Have a little funeral or memorial service for her and then go adopt a needy pet from a shelter.I'm really sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.

That is so sad.Well first don't try to replace it.that doesnt work.you can get another cat after a while though.some people might have to see pictures or have to have memories of something while others cant have any memories and try to forget.whatever suits you best.

if you were nice to your cat, then she probably loves you no matter what, and i bet in kitty heaven she is looking down on u and wishing that u were'nt so upset. it's good to be sad, but you can let it go. remember the good times u had with her, and maybe put a pic of her on ur work desk, or at home. i think if you got a new cat or dog and took good care of it, it would be a good tribute to her memory.

talk about it and how it made you feel the more you talk the better you will feel but know that you will never fully get over it. you will just be able to deal with your feelings a lot better. i hope you feel better

Just like any death if you are emotionally attached to that person or animal it will take time. Getting another pet will help a little to take your mind off of it too or go out and do some activites that will take your mind off of your situation. I hope you feel better soon

I'm so sorry about your loss and how things came out. Since your cat was very elderly, you have no way of knowing that your cat would have survived even if you had gone to the vet sooner. The way she died was a fluke and not your fault. Bad things sometimes just happen. In time, your feelings will be less raw and upset. Please try not to feel guilty. The reason your cat was so elderly is because you took good care of her for so long.If you feel ready to get a new cat, then do so. But only if you feel ready. And keep in mind this cat will have its own personality and it will be a new relationship and won't be just like your old cat.

my cat died too, and i always thought of it as my fault because it was trying to get warm, which was one of the syptoms of it's sickness, but he was blocking all the heat so i always got him off but he needed it. we took him to the vet too late and i wasnt there when he died. i never really have gotten over it, and dont listen to the people that say "get one that looks just like it" because that only makes it worse, it reminds you of your lost friend. get a kitten after a while, when you think you can handle it, and it doesnt matter what the kitten looks like, what it eats or what it plays with, the only thing that matters is that you gave a new little life a home. i have 2 kittens right now, neither of them look or act at ALL the same as my other cat that died, but they are still very sweet and i love them as much as wiley(my cat that died). there usually isnt another way to get around the death of a family pet.good luck

Understand that pets don't often live as long as humans do - elephants, whales and parrots excepted, of course.Make an appointment with a grief counselor.Vow, that you will never ever allow a pet to suffer as Kitty did. Make a donation to your local shelter in Kitty's name.Learn to forgive - especially yourself - for not doing the proper thing in the first place and take Kitty to the vets in the beginning. That's a tough lesson to learn - but you apparently have learned it now.Now then. This is getting into the metaphysical here - so don't think I"m a loony. Kitty has already forgiven you for your stupidity. AND - according to Psalm 150 - let everything that has breath praise the Lord - animals go to heaven. In fact, it was only Mankind that was stupid enough to disobey God. So animals don't need salvation - they were never lost.That said, Kitty is now in heaven. And she gets to watch for you every day. She has forgiven you for your stupidity. Now you must forgive yourself.A grief counselor can help.

No car can replace the one you lost and no cat should but that of course doesn't mean that love won't happen. Your cat knew it was loved and that is more important then where and how she died. She knew she was loved and that you would always do for her and you did and did not fail her. Please hit the linkhttp://www.bonfires.de/TheLovingOnes.htm best to you

I'm really sorry about your cat, but there's nothing you could have done and nothing can change that now, so please-let's lay that down first. You should remember all the good times you had with your cat, and not how she died. She lived a good life, and I'm sure you took care of her. This is so not your fault! I wouldnt reccomend immediately getting a new cat or dog, because it will make you think of her more. So try keeping a picture of your cat looking happy in a place where you will see it a lot. When you see the picture, think of how much fun you guys had together and how much you guys cared for one another. In a few months, when you feel ready, I suggest getting a new kitten or puppy. Treat your new pet just like your old cat, but leave the picture up and remember your old cat. Also, don't name your new pet after your old pet. You have to move on, but hang on to those memories. Make donations in your pet's name to local shelters. Talk to your friends about how sad you are, and remember-don;t be afriad to cry! Try talking to someone who has also lost a pet, close friend, etc. about how they coped. After a month or 2, if you are still grieving, talk to a counselor. Hope I helped, and again, I'm really sory. Good luck!

I am so sorry for the loss of your cat. My cat died in a similar way and I had known him my whole life. The vet was wrong to say that to you - there is nothing you can do about what happened before your cat's death. Your cat is now in a peaceful place so it is no longer feeling anymore pain. Part of the process of grieving is bargaining in which you try to make a deal with God that if you had only done something different, the loss could have been avoided. This is human and normal. My cat died over four years ago and I often dream about him and think I see him around my mother's house out of the corner of my eye. I would advise waiting a while before getting a replacement pet. I got one about 7 months later that looked exactly like my first cat, but did not behave in any way like him. It was a disaster. No other pet can make up for the one you lost. You will always be able to find comfort in knowing you had a special relationship with your cat. In the future, I hope you will have another meaningful relationship with a pet. You seem like a person who truly loves animals, so I am sure you will. You did the best you could at the time. Please dont beat yourself up about it any further. Your cat lived a long life and all living creatures must die. You did all you could do and will lovingly remember your cat forever.

My cat died a few years ago, and i had it when i was born. i would say that time helped heal the pain. Anyway im sorry about your loss.

I have been where you are before and there isn't much at all you can do but feel what you are feeling. Time heals everything and right now it feels like the end of the world for you. You just lost a member of your family and a great friend. Hand in there....I read this poem when I feel grief for any of my lost pets. Hope it can comfort you a bit.Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...

she did not die alone - she died knowing that you cared enough about her to take her to the vet to be taken care of in ways that you (her loving owner) could now take care of her - talk to your vet, i know that its hard, but they will reassure you that its ok to be heartbroken, they did everything that they could have and you did the BEST POSSIBLE THING by bringing her in to be taken care of.Cats hide pain VERY well and unless you can read your cat's mind, chances are that you just did not know the full extent of her illness - its OK! you did the best thing you could have at the best time that you knew - you DID get her to the vet for care.it may take you some time before you are ready for another pet, and don't force yourself to get a new pet if you just want to sob whenever you see someone else's cat - i know that its VERY difficult to get over ANY death (especially for a member of your family), but a time will come when you are ready to move forward and get a new pet (or a new pet will find you) and you will find peace in the new pet (and see behaviors and similarities between your deceased pet and your new pet) - make sure that you give yourself time for some closure, have a simple ceremony, if just for yourself, and let yourself cry (if you cry) and get some of the pain out - it was NOT your fault and you did the best that you could have.(looking at pictures if you have them may make you really sad now, but may be good later - so if you have some, put them aside for now and when the time comes, you will be able to look at them without tears welling up in your eyes)its ok.. just take your time

I'm so sorry. But it sounds to me like she had a really nice long happy life. I think that if a cat has a really happy long life, even if its death wasn't exactly a painless death that cat had a good life and the way it died doesn't change that. If I were you, I would wait at least a week, to allow yourself some time to grieve (and im not saying do nothing for an entire week but don't go out the day after your cat dies and get another i think that's too soon) then I know its hard but try to get over it. I'm not saying get another cat and forget all about this one but pick yourself up and move on as best as you can. Go to an animal shelter and get a cat that didn't have the best life so far and give it what you gave your other cat a happy long love-filled life. Again, I'm so sorry about what happened but remember it's not in anyway your fault.

aw, sweets, i'm sorry.. I know exactly how you feel. I recently lost my cat that i had for 9 years. Same thing, he was sick and we didn't really know, and when i was at work he died, and i wasn't there to say goodbye. It's hard, but in the end you just have to think that theres nothing you can do now, and your cat is at peace now, and this is in no way your fault. She knew you loved her, and she wouldn't want you to be sad.